Imogen

Imogen

b:
d:
Philip Ray-Jones:

Says she was an actress in Carry-on films.

From the internet:

She appeared in a BBC1 play in 1977, 'Our Kid', playing the part of Annabel. Father a solicitor, mother a barrister, vital statistics in 1977, Jul:34 - 23 - 35. Born 1952 in London, England." Also in A Fish Called Wanda (1988) by John Cleese with Michael Palin where she played a stenographer, Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life" (1983), The Moving Finger (1985) (TV), as Mr Johnson's girlfriend in Fawlty Towers, and in 'Are you being served?' as one of the Grace Brothers women (Mr Rumbold had something to do with it) - a pretty blonde and personal physician to "Young" Mr. Grace, hired by him to do routine check-ups on his staff to see if they qualified for his insurance/retirement plan.
For more shows and more details see http://www.us.imdb.com/name/nm0081051/.

In a series in the London Evening Standard starting 15 September 1986 she was quoted as saying: ""I think we've become our own worst enemies," "We've become so self-sufficient nobody (for which read men according to the context) can do anything for us, even though we want them to." And:

""I think sex is more important to women than it is to men. We enjoy it more, we can take more of it and for longer. That power must terrify men."

A former model, TV actress and now a wildlife film-maker, Imi Bickford-Smith believes that love is tough at the top for many single career women because their success can make them too independent.

"We're our own worst enemies: rather than improving our situation our success actually hinders it," she says, referring specifically to relationships with men.

But when it comes to men as lovers she believes many Englishmen have a lot to learn.

"As lovers Englishmen are either very good or disastrous. Women are usually much more adventurous in fantasy and reality and much more so than men suspect."

"But women don't tell men that so men don't know what we want, what we enjoy."

The point becomes particularly relevant to successful career women because if your success can earn you most other pleasures in life, a lack in that department becomes even more poignant.

"Women talk much more openly to girl-friends and platonic men friends. Men who listen to women are the best lovers and Continental men enjoy giving pleasure more than the English."


SIGNALS
"Women will talk to other women when they can't talk to their lovers. I've had relationships where I've never discussed any of it with a girl-friend."

And men, it seems, aren't good at reading women's needs.

"One reason these women can't get it together with the right man is that men don't read the signals that say we fancy them. And women don't know how to signal to men."

So, should women take the initiative and go out and pick the men they want?

Apparently not.

"There's always this luck factor. You can get lucky with a row of men all in a bunch like buses or accidents. But I think that's mostly something subconscious at work."

"Of course men have always been able to go out and meet women. I don't believe in women's lib except for the equal pay and opportunities bit and I think women still want to be pursued."

"Men are scared off by women who pursue them, it's just not feminine. Women feel more feminine if they are pursued."

But here again the career woman has a special problem, it appears.

"There's always this nonsense of women sitting waiting for the phone to ring. It's even worse for career women. During the day they're accustomed to ringing up and getting what they want in their careers."

"Suddenly, at home, being 'real' women, they have to wait to be asked! What's more, career women are usually less confident and more frightened of being rejected than most people would ever imagine."

"They have no control over this relationship business - who pursues whom and who waits to be asked. It makes them feel less adequate."

"Another problem is that because we're so strict and disciplined with ourselves at work we're not prepared to 'make do' with anyone less than the ideal man. Whenever I've made do I've usually behaved so badly they just bunk out!"

But perhaps the new-found independence isn't working entirely against women's interests:

"One advantage is that we can actually take a decision whether to go to bed with a man or not. We can almost always ring up and 'get it' if we want to."

"It throws a lot of men. Instead of hot frustrated nights alone, a woman can order up a lover and it takes the pressure off having to find a committed relationship."

But can a man like that really be called a 'lover'?

"Well, perhaps not a lover, but something that'll do meantime!"

The power of women's sexuality, says Imi, is something very few men have grasped.

"For example, pornography was always for men. Only they could enjoy it."

"It's not true and there's been a brilliant conspiracy by women to let men go on thinking that. It was such a great bargaining position - reluctantly giving and trading pleasure in return for a man's fidelity."

"Secretly you weren't giving away anything! You were getting your committed relationship and the pleasure."


CANDOUR

And so, if men are slowly cottoning on to yet another aspect of total emancipation among successful career women, the implication is that many men may be happier with the old order, choosing less emancipated partners and still further reducing the available males.

As Imi says, with admirable candour:

"What really annoys career women is that men are so happy with a pretty little girl from the typing pool! It works so well for them both. We can't stand it!"

Not surprising therefore that the younger man gets his chance:

"A younger man who has the nerve to go for an older woman can be marvellous."

Overall Imi thinks that the apparent imbalance of suitable available males will sort itself out in the next generation when women are either less hung-up about their careers or more decide to be wives and mothers at home – or men learn how to cope with them better.

In the meantime, however, men are finding women's sexuality hard to grasp.

"Most men would have a fit – they'd be horrified – if they knew what goes on in women's minds, in their fantasies."

And:

"My advice to career women is don't pursue a career at ALL costs – unless it's all you'll ever want."

"People who only pursue success are usually suffering from low self-esteem and wanting to prove something. If they end up with nasty partners it's probably because they're giving out bad signals of low self-esteem. If you feel worthless (but rich!) you'll pick a bastard."

"Even so," Imi adds, "being rich and lonely is better than poor and lonely."


END
Biography
Philip Ray-Jones:

Says she was an actress in Carry-on films.

From the internet:

She appeared in a BBC1 play in 1977, 'Our Kid', playing the part of Annabel. Father a solicitor, mother a barrister, vital statistics in 1977, Jul:34 - 23 - 35. Born 1952 in London, England." Also in A Fish Called Wanda (1988) by John Cleese with Michael Palin where she played a stenographer, Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life" (1983), The Moving Finger (1985) (TV), as Mr Johnson's girlfriend in Fawlty Towers, and in 'Are you being served?' as one of the Grace Brothers women (Mr Rumbold had something to do with it) - a pretty blonde and personal physician to "Young" Mr. Grace, hired by him to do routine check-ups on his staff to see if they qualified for his insurance/retirement plan.
For more shows and more details see http://www.us.imdb.com/name/nm0081051/.

In a series in the London Evening Standard starting 15 September 1986 she was quoted as saying: ""I think we've become our own worst enemies," "We've become so self-sufficient nobody (for which read men according to the context) can do anything for us, even though we want them to." And:

""I think sex is more important to women than it is to men. We enjoy it more, we can take more of it and for longer. That power must terrify men."

A former model, TV actress and now a wildlife film-maker, Imi Bickford-Smith believes that love is tough at the top for many single career women because their success can make them too independent.

"We're our own worst enemies: rather than improving our situation our success actually hinders it," she says, referring specifically to relationships with men.

But when it comes to men as lovers she believes many Englishmen have a lot to learn.

"As lovers Englishmen are either very good or disastrous. Women are usually much more adventurous in fantasy and reality and much more so than men suspect."

"But women don't tell men that so men don't know what we want, what we enjoy."

The point becomes particularly relevant to successful career women because if your success can earn you most other pleasures in life, a lack in that department becomes even more poignant.

"Women talk much more openly to girl-friends and platonic men friends. Men who listen to women are the best lovers and Continental men enjoy giving pleasure more than the English."


SIGNALS
"Women will talk to other women when they can't talk to their lovers. I've had relationships where I've never discussed any of it with a girl-friend."

And men, it seems, aren't good at reading women's needs.

"One reason these women can't get it together with the right man is that men don't read the signals that say we fancy them. And women don't know how to signal to men."

So, should women take the initiative and go out and pick the men they want?

Apparently not.

"There's always this luck factor. You can get lucky with a row of men all in a bunch like buses or accidents. But I think that's mostly something subconscious at work."

"Of course men have always been able to go out and meet women. I don't believe in women's lib except for the equal pay and opportunities bit and I think women still want to be pursued."

"Men are scared off by women who pursue them, it's just not feminine. Women feel more feminine if they are pursued."

But here again the career woman has a special problem, it appears.

"There's always this nonsense of women sitting waiting for the phone to ring. It's even worse for career women. During the day they're accustomed to ringing up and getting what they want in their careers."

"Suddenly, at home, being 'real' women, they have to wait to be asked! What's more, career women are usually less confident and more frightened of being rejected than most people would ever imagine."

"They have no control over this relationship business - who pursues whom and who waits to be asked. It makes them feel less adequate."

"Another problem is that because we're so strict and disciplined with ourselves at work we're not prepared to 'make do' with anyone less than the ideal man. Whenever I've made do I've usually behaved so badly they just bunk out!"

But perhaps the new-found independence isn't working entirely against women's interests:

"One advantage is that we can actually take a decision whether to go to bed with a man or not. We can almost always ring up and 'get it' if we want to."

"It throws a lot of men. Instead of hot frustrated nights alone, a woman can order up a lover and it takes the pressure off having to find a committed relationship."

But can a man like that really be called a 'lover'?

"Well, perhaps not a lover, but something that'll do meantime!"

The power of women's sexuality, says Imi, is something very few men have grasped.

"For example, pornography was always for men. Only they could enjoy it."

"It's not true and there's been a brilliant conspiracy by women to let men go on thinking that. It was such a great bargaining position - reluctantly giving and trading pleasure in return for a man's fidelity."

"Secretly you weren't giving away anything! You were getting your committed relationship and the pleasure."


CANDOUR

And so, if men are slowly cottoning on to yet another aspect of total emancipation among successful career women, the implication is that many men may be happier with the old order, choosing less emancipated partners and still further reducing the available males.

As Imi says, with admirable candour:

"What really annoys career women is that men are so happy with a pretty little girl from the typing pool! It works so well for them both. We can't stand it!"

Not surprising therefore that the younger man gets his chance:

"A younger man who has the nerve to go for an older woman can be marvellous."

Overall Imi thinks that the apparent imbalance of suitable available males will sort itself out in the next generation when women are either less hung-up about their careers or more decide to be wives and mothers at home – or men learn how to cope with them better.

In the meantime, however, men are finding women's sexuality hard to grasp.

"Most men would have a fit – they'd be horrified – if they knew what goes on in women's minds, in their fantasies."

And:

"My advice to career women is don't pursue a career at ALL costs – unless it's all you'll ever want."

"People who only pursue success are usually suffering from low self-esteem and wanting to prove something. If they end up with nasty partners it's probably because they're giving out bad signals of low self-esteem. If you feel worthless (but rich!) you'll pick a bastard."

"Even so," Imi adds, "being rich and lonely is better than poor and lonely."


END
Ancestors
   
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Family Group Sheet - Child
PARENT (U) ?
Birth
Death
Father?
Mother?
PARENT (U) ?
Birth
Death
Father?
Mother?
CHILDREN
FImogen
Birth
Death
Marriageto Roger Bickford-Smith
Family Group Sheet - Spouse
PARENT (M) Roger Bickford-Smith
Birth1939
Death1997
Marriageto Imogen
FatherAubrey Louis Bickford-Smith
MotherKatherine Moore
PARENT (F) Imogen
Birth
Death
Marriageto Roger Bickford-Smith
Father?
Mother?
CHILDREN
Descendancy Chart
Roger Bickford-Smith b: 1939 d: 1997